Seven Life Lessons I Learned So Far in 2015

1. Just making a decision is not enough. 

One thing I should've naturally realized long ago but had never bothered to take a moment or two to reflect on myself. Our lives consist of planning, making and taking decisions, from the smallest to the biggest life-changing feats, and we do it everyday. Which book I should buy among the new releases? Which shoes I should pair up with my dress? Or when I drive, which route I should take that would be quicker to reach my destination? Simple and so everyday-related matters to work-related matters. And to, as I said before, big-life-changing things. A decision to move out of your parents' house and live independently on your own. To work overseas. To quit from your job and take a break. To start making your own business. And so on.

The fact is, it's simultaneously hard and easy to make and come up with a decision, but then when you've made it, your work isn't over.

Because you need to stay with it - with what you've decided.

Everyone can make a decision but not everyone can remain true to their decision. You want to become a writer and you try to write a story but then give up halfway. You go to college but do not finish it. You want to shape up and you intend to exercise daily and eat healthily but then you're getting lazy because you can't (don't want to, maybe) keep up with these new habits and eventually nothing's done. Things like that.

Of course it's not always the case. Let's say if I make a decision that puts me in a vain or an unfavorable situation, that harms me or in a way doesn't make me better as a person, it's definitely better to stop and pull out, and look for another way.

I'm just saying that it's better to think carefully before you decide something - and be responsible with your own decision.

2. Changing is not that bad. 

Getting out of your comfort zone is fun.

I won't deny that it'll be a tough time indeed, but consider it a period to toughen you up so that you'll be ready when you emerge on the other side. Really, if you see too far ahead it's not that good too. Some people may need to visualize how the future would be and plan everything step by step. But for most people I guess doing this can slightly or moderately diminish their courage to step forward because, hey, we human never like unknown things, right? Things that are unforeseeable. The uncertainty of it makes us uncomfortable, more uncomfortable that we allow ourselves to admit.

But yes, I admit, it's scary. Unknown things are scary.

That's why, just immerse yourself in the moment and in what you can do now so that you can find out yourself - that's how you make your own future. It's by no means controlling it - but what you do here and now will have an impact.

"Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that's what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. 

Now you know something about yourself."

Amy Poehler

3. You'll never be ready for anything, my friend. 

It's true. I keep facing the kind of situation that requires me to be ready, which most of the time, I'm not. And it's quite frustrating, at least until I remind myself again and again of the above statement. Which rings so true.

Backtracking to my college days, I remember when it was my turn to do a 15-minute speech in front of so many classmates from another year batches, during the final exam of my public speaking class. I was memorizing my lines and my heart shrank because I wasn't ready, at all. Oh, cursed the timing. Everyone looking at me didn't make it any better - "What if I stutter? What if I forget my lines? I need more time to prepare. I need to practice once again so I can be ready." Do you have a similar experience?

And there's when I drove a car by myself for the first time. No matter what my body couldn't relax and I thought I wasn't ready at all, I still needed someone to sit in the passenger seat to supervise me. What if something happens on the road? What if I accidentally scratch the car because of an unsuccessful attempt at parking? Also when I thought of quitting my previous job but was troubled with what in the world I should do next - taking a break or looking for another job - but then this thought evaporated because I simply didn't have the courage to let go of my fixed monthly income at that time.

But speaking from real experiences, it's thrilling to summon up your bits of courage and finally do it. When I drove a car for the first time, I was quite nervous, but really in a good way. Halfway the ride I kept muttering, "I'm driving by myself I'm driving by myself" and when I arrived at my destination I breathed: "I did it. I did it!" my dad didn't know at that time and I only let him know afterwards :P

The same goes with me finally resigned from my previous job because honestly... working there didn't make me happy. I get that some people have their own priorities; they have a family and they need money to earn a living so a steady job is what they need. So you have to acknowledge that people have their own choices and personal consideration. But as for my consideration: I don't want to stay if it makes me unhappy. At least I've come to this decision after 1-2 years of pondering.

To conquer your fear and do what you are afraid of, and what you want (if you don't want it then you won't think about it right?), damn it feels utterly incredible and it gives you much confidence. Seriously it'll get better from that point on and because the accumulation of your confidence will make you start to believe in yourself. Confidence doesn't pop out magically, it comes with practice, And besides, I just read a quote from Tumblr that says,

So! In a quest to conquer your fear: Instead of finding reasons why you shouldn't do it, focus on ones that emphasize why you should do it. If it's not you who believe in yourself, then who?

4. Do things step by step, otherwise you'll get overwhelmed.

Because every step matters. And each is equally important and necessary to get you to the destination of your dream. And you have to experience patience first hand, anyway XD

5. We are all subject to external circumstances and it's quite inevitable that our happiness depends on such things; not that it's a bad thing

Well yes, they say you don't search for happiness because happiness is not something to be found; it's a state of mind and it comes from within yourself. Your gratitude over the smallest things, your kindness to others, your reasonable expectations, your humble, optimist outlook on life and your positive take on things, the ability to be wise and to easily adapt yourself in any kind of circumstances.

So it's true that you can actually choose to be happy, if you permit yourself to. It's wonderful, this quiet-kind of happiness, where you can be at peace and content because realistically speaking, not everyone can achieve that state of mind easily. At least not all the time; although some people may be an exception though.

But I personally think it's still true that we as a human being with our mundane thoughts are always subject to external circumstances. 

Ask yourself: What makes you happy?

For me, things that make me happy are :

1. When I see a new scenery, something like the view of a cityscape from above, rolling hills that meet the skyline, a flea market full of people, blue ocean with its waves, a cobblestone street full of shops and quaint houses, museums, anything.
2. Watching dramas together with mom. Simply, be with people I love and spend moments with them.
3. Creating something. Like crafting, designing, drawing or writing. And being acknowledged by others.
4. Waking up to the smell of something good like coffee or chicken sandwich or instant noodle ^^ because it's not an everyday routine (then suddenly becomes sad ^^;) 

5. A good book. So good that I think about it all the time even during work
6. Browsing books in a bookshop!! That kind of feeling when you touch a physical book and open its pages...
7. Going crazy with friends and cracking silly jokes. Simply have a good time with them

8. Fulfilling my own wishes, definitely 

9. Every time I receive kindness from other people. In the form of acceptance, trust, appreciation, concern, constructive advice and insight and inspiration, to things such as presents and free gifts XD (I have to admit it!)
10. When I snuggle on bed under the covers and I'd be grateful for the comfort I'm able and allowed to feel
11. I know this sounds overly poetic and trying (I'm not) but it's true: sleeping or waking up to the sound of light rain. It feels very cozy and peaceful.

And other things.

They are not in a particular order, just something I come up right away when I think about happy things. They're just simple and real things, nothing fancy, but smallest things matter too. 

As you see in my case, I am subject to external circumstances - a simple thing such as weather can boost or dampen my mood. I'm happy if the person I love is happy. I'm happy when people inspire me and I can inspire others. I'm happy if I discover a great book and I'm happy if people trust me.

And I'm not ashamed of that. This is what it means to be living.

And well, each person has their own definition of happiness, so let them be.

"I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep."

My Ántonia by Willa Cather

6. There's always something new to learn and try everyday, in every phase of life, no matter how old you are.

Try something you haven't tried before. Never eat a durian? Try and if you happen to hate it, then say so AFTER you have a bite. Try a book genre you haven't read before and listen to different music genres. If you've tried and you don't like it, then at least you have a solid reason why. If you like it, then it's good ^^

Just be open-minded and respectful. Don't dismiss stories, knowledge or advice from other people. Be humble and do a trade - and share them together instead. Life's too short to have a mind that's unreceptive to new thoughts and ideas.

I'm still learning and I'll be learning more things later as time goes by!

7. Forget expectation, just do your best and enjoy your ride!