Masks

You know... I sometimes wear (different) masks on my face, intentionally or not, according to certain circumstances at a certain moment, and I believe other people also do the same kind of thing. Well, it's a habit formed and adopted without me really knowing about it - I have no idea when it first started. I think it's necessary to wear masks in society, albeit semi-transparent ones, since we all live in a world full of different individuals with their own values and perceptions, each harbors what one deems right or wrong, nurtured by different cultures and upbringings, that it's easy for us to clash with each other if we're not careful. Not to mention, code of conducts required in a certain social environment.

But I'm reminded again how scary a person can be, once she revealed what exactly beneath her mask. It's too exhausting to write down the whole ordeal here, but in short, I'm surprised, and definitely not in a good way. I'm a people observer, actually, and it's also a habit naturally developed since I first entered my teenage years. If I have to give one reason behind why I've developed this habit, maybe because I have always been a book reader who reads a lot of books and that makes me naturally have an inclined interest in human nature; their behavior patterns, the rationale behind their acts or words and other things. I guess that also makes me sensitive to other people's moods? I dunno. I still can't read everything.  

Which is why I'm shocked when I found out, that a person who I've known for years, decades perhaps, who I thought was nice, sweet, clever, polite, and good nature, turns out to be rude, disrespectful, impolite and, the most frightening bit, manipulative. Well, we rarely meet anyway but as I said, I've known her for decades. Again, it may sound like a mere small matter but in fact, it's quite an ordeal to the people involved including me that at one point during my train of stressful thoughts, I feel scared. Of the possibility of how scary a person can be beneath the facade. I believe it'll be a different case if the person has originally behaved that way in the first place.  

But in return, I may be the same as her. Perhaps she thought me as a person who is caring, understanding, or mature, while in fact I also wear a mask as I make an effort to restrain myself badly for someone else's good sake regarding this problem. So with much difficulties, I end up feigning and acting nonchalant and unaffected.

I guess, this is where the problem lies: We are all too hasty to label people based on our own quick judgement and unfortunately, we're getting too convenient in doing this ("Oh, he's likable. He's kind. She's like a b*tch. She's all pretty face and empty-headed etc.) without seeing the person's real personality that we oftentimes cling too much to these first impressions. Or sometimes, we just don't perceive too thoroughly. There's also a case when we conveniently fit in people into our own mind-made perception because we only want to see the things we want to see. We forget that many people in this world also wear different types of masks, either to protect themselves, to survive and continue on living in this pressing and judging society, or to achieve some kind of personal purposes.  

I used to be aware of this thing, but I guess I forgot it for a while. A hindsight, indeed. I should've known better.