Devoid of Expression

The day was late afternoon. The sweltering heat started to wear off. Gathering my hair and tying it quickly into a messy ponytail, I decided to drop by at a nearby mini market ahead to buy myself a cool drink or ice cream. I strode purposefully, covering my face with the back of my hand - the exhausts from cars and motorcycles from the busy thoroughfares and pollutants as well as other unidentified yet equally just as harmful particles were so intense, almost unbearable.

So it felt really really really nice, to finally set my feet inside the mini market; their air cons were blowing cool air - the hum of its engine was quite loud - and immediately my hot skins were soothed. 

Only few people walked about between the aisles. I walked to the cool beverages section (it was cooler there), choosing something refreshing, and was torn between a flavored tea or a juice or simply a mineral water, when the front door was open. 

The mini market was small, and there was actually a round mirror attached on several different and interspersed spots within the small room, high up against the wall, almost to the ceilings. I absentmindedly looked into one of the mirrors, and from the reflection could see a girl - still with her school uniform (that must be around the time school was finished) - entering the mini market. 

She went to the beverages section, and came to a halt a small distance away from me. 

She was pretty. She was also young, so young, and looked so innocent that I was somewhat remembered of my school days - and wondered if, back then, I looked as innocent as she was or at least gave a more or less similar impression. 

I stole a glance or two at her, and it was exactly at that moment... that I came to be surprised. 

Her face was devoid of expression. 

Why, I don't know. I was confused. It was completely different with people's usual face expressions. For example, let's say, those office workers who flocked the street as they just got off from work - and while they didn't particularly display any apparent expression or emotion as they briskly walked or hailed a cab to go home, their faces and postures were still ones that depicted a story, or at least clues to guess a story - that perhaps work had been rough and demanding, or that certain vibe of anxiety and weariness from their simplest gestures, telling that they dreaded the mounting and awaiting tasks to be done at home. 

But this girl... you would think she was at least pondering, what kind of drink I should choose, or anything. But no. There wasn't a single hint. 

Nothing. 

Her face, as I said, was devoid of even the barest hint of expression. It was something akin to a porcelain doll, I think, or a mask. A mask that was destined, for the entirety of its life span, to bear only a single, fixed expression stripped from anything else. 

The girl quickly took out a mineral water and dashed into the cash register.  

I also went to the check out my drink (Pocari Sweat), and queued behind her. 

The man behind the cash register was friendly - young, perhaps in his 20s. I don't know if he found the school girl pretty or what, but he smiled at her. And while he was working with his cash register with the girl's purchase, he cheerfully said, "What a lovely day outside!" 

I thought, it's really hot and dusty outside and you call that lovely. But of course I kept quiet. 

He then continued, "Aren't you with a boyfriend?"

Perhaps he meant, it is a lovely day outside; why aren't you spending your day with your boyfriend?

I could see he only asked this out of friendliness, not of curiosity. At least... no apparent intention. But still, I didn't know what prompted him to ask her that question, out of many. Perhaps she was just beautiful - and that all school girls these days always went out with their boyfriends after school, and the very sight of this girl - so pretty and beautiful - was strange enough to the man because she only came by herself... was that it?

While it would prove to be so random yet funny (if he really thought that)... 

I was disturbed by the girl's response. 

The girl - one moment before had been devoid of expression - suddenly pursed her lips in a hint of smile. And then, slowly, ever so slowly, the muscles in her cheeks moved upward, and that small line stretched into a longer line - the smile then became visible and grew even wider. 

It was a sweet smile.

Not a plastic smile, but definitely not a real smile either. 

(What was that smile?)

Yet... she didn't utter a single word for further response. Not a single word. 

(Why?)

But she smiled nonetheless, so the man could only smile. 

(What was it with that smile?)

I was filled with a lot of questions. But of course, the girl, and the man behind the register, were oblivious.

After receiving her change, the girl took her water and went out of the door. 

Outside, she stopped a moment to pocket the change. She moved sideways, and I squinted - looking outside through the glass door at her. 

When her side profile came into view, I saw that the smile was wiped off completely from her face. The lips weren't stretched, they were clamped shut in a flat line, no longer curved. 

Not a hint she was just smiling a moment before.

Once again, devoid of any expression. 

And I shuddered.